Self-Love Equals Success

In my years of career counseling I have seen the difference between people who forgive themselves and the ones who can’t. The ones who can, keep going no matter what. The ones who can’t, give up.

The truth is, there is an unshakable resiliency and internal strength that comes from the ability to love and accept your humanness and natural flaws. You can really only “Pick yourself up by your bootstraps” when you have the ability to pick yourself up and say “Ok, not my best moment, let’s try it again.”

So how do we foster this kind of radical self-acceptance when so many of our foundational family homes and early experiences were harsh and unaccepting? By fueling your natural kindness. The most wounded people I know make the greatest healers, the best listeners and are the kindest of souls. They know on an intimate level, what if feels like to be rejected and they spend a lot of time making others feel good. By turning that healing light on yourself, you can stop the perpetual internal bullying that follows you wherever you go. It won’t be easy. That self-loathing asshole has lived with you for a long time. He’s familiar and predictable and a great reason to not try and fail. To change to a more loving and forgiving internalized space is going to take practice, practice, practice.

Start with bite-sized 30 seconds of self-kindness statements. Eliminate negative self-talk. Meditate. Ask God, Source, the Buddha for help. Only be around kind supportive people. Be cozy. Take hot baths. Eat buttered popcorn. Work with a therapist. And don’t give up on yourself. Keep trying even if it hurts. Keep putting yourself out there even if you’re terrified of rejection. Know that when you practice self-compassion even on the shittiest of days, you always have a warm space to come home to.

Ultimately, self-love and forgiveness allows you to show up fully in all your glory and full capacity and this is what will lead to your ultimate success however you choose to define it.