“Happiness” is fluid, it’s temporary. Just as any other emotion or state of being, this feeling can ebb and flow based on the moment you are in and the thought you are having.
“Fulfillment” is about bringing to realization something you care about. It’s about living, fully, loving deeply and perpetually learning and evolving.
The pressure to be “happy” in this culture is constant and illusive. I’ve decided to deepen my awareness of feeling fulfilled and put less pressure on myself on being happy. In this way, I can have all my feelings, sad, pissed, calm, elated, bored whatever the mood of the moment may be, yet still feel fulfilled.
I do not always like all aspects of my life. I often find that parenthood sucks with the challenges of setting limitations, giving up my wants for the sake of my children; always taking the high-road and doing the “right” thing is exhausting. However, nothing in my life has fulfilled me as much as being a mom. My heart runneth over in love and I am deeply pleased by how beautiful my two sons are as people. Being a mom has wrenched all of the emotions I own and the experience has been deeply, powerfully fulfilling.
My work is often fraught with politics, intensity, deadlines and pressure. Often I have feelings of happiness, which are rotated with frustration, joy, power, intensity, disappointment etc. However, when I look at the bigger picture of my work I recognize that everyday I help many people in different ways to value themselves, to discover their potential, to financially support their families, to eliminate their personal barriers. Knowing I make that kind of impact in other’s lives is extraordinary and profoundly fulfilling and puts all of the other challenges of my work into perspective.
It is when I experience all of the feelings that this lifetime has to offer that I truly feel alive. It is through realizing that I impact my sons, my wife and my work, in ways that are deep and meaningful that I know I am accomplishing my ultimate goal of living fully, loving deeply and growing constantly.
Ironically, when I focus on this awareness of being fulfilled, I become happy.